Crazy at the Airport | Tales from the Terminal

The news is full of stories about people behaving badly at airports. You might think that because I worked at a desk safely tucked away from the public that I never had to deal with any shenanigans. Well I definitely didn’t have to deal with as much crazy stuff as the gate agents and flight attendants, but I still experienced my fair share.

Crazy drivers

The airport is not large and, in my opinion, not especially complicated. The road around the airport makes a one-way loop. You drive in from the west, circle around the front of the terminal and then head back out to the west again. It really isn’t hard to navigate and there are plenty of signs to direct you. Yet I still observed a lot of crazy driving.

I’ve watched drivers start to enter the garage, then change their minds and drive backwards down the entrance ramp, trying not to hit all the other cars entering the garage. Then they have to try to re-enter the traffic flow. I’ve seen them take out light poles with this manouver. I’ve seen them nearly hit other cars. I was nearly hit myself.

I’ve also seen drivers going the wrong way against traffic. Actually, I’ve seen this way too many times and frankly, it always scared the heck out of me. On my second to last day at work I was almost to the garage when I saw headlights coming at me – driving west in a part of the loop that only goes east. Thank goodness traffic was light and I was able to swerve around the car. When I thought about it later I was unable to figure out how the driver could have possibly ended up the wrong way unless they entered by the hotels and drove the entire loop backwards. But they’d have had to pass in front of the terminal going the wrong way and how they did that without crashing or getting stopped by security is beyond me.

Unattended Baggage

What is the one annoucement you hear over and over and over at the airport? “Do not leave bags unattended. Unattended baggage will be confiscated.” (And if you happen to be at the airport where I used to work, you might even hear me issuing that reminder.) Please especially don’t leave unattended bags near me! As an Airport Authority employee I was required to report any bags left lying around. And I always had better things to do. Like plane spotting. Or going home.

Back when I parked in the employee lot I had to go through baggage claim to get the shuttle. One evening as I was trying to escape I happened across a suitcase sitting near the doors, all by its lonesome. I looked around hoping to find the owner nearby. No one seemed interested in it. I REALLY didn’t want to have to call and report the abandoned bag so I waited around for several minutes hoping someone would come along and fetch it. Nope. Eventually I gave in and called, then waited for security to show up. Never did find out who that bag belonged to.

Intoxicated Passengers

The accounting office is not easy to get to. You have to walk down a long hallway, through a door (which automatically locks after 5pm) down a set of stairs and then through another door (which is locked all the time and requires credentials to access). Or you could skip the stairs and take the elevator. It also locks down after 5pm. You have to know where you are going or be escorted by someone to get down there. Which is why I was very surprised when I was leaving work late one night to find a guy with luggage standing outside the department doors. Since both the door at the top of the stairs and the elevator were locked I figured someone with credentials must have walked him down and he was waiting for them.

I stopped in the bathroom before heading out and was relieved to see that the man was no longer there. Unfortunately I found him a few moments later at the top of the stairs trying to open the door. Since the door was locked he set off an alarm every time he pushed on it. I asked what he was doing in the stairwell and he said he was trying to catch a flight. I was immediately suspicious. No one in their right mind would come this way to board a flight. And sure enough I quickly discovered he was definitely NOT in his right mind.

While I was puzzling over what to do, a coworker came along. She asked him what airline he was flying and asked to see his boarding pass. He was able to get to Delta’s website, but couldn’t bring up his pass, nor could he tell us where he was going. Since it was highly unusual to find a passenger in this location I called security to give them a heads up before letting him out.

As my coworker and I walked him out to the lobby, he kept trying to wander off into non-public areas. At one point he headed up the walkway that most of the TSA workers use to go outside to the ramp. Anyone without clearance who wanders out that way will be in a world of trouble! We finally got him to the ticketing area and told him how to get to Delta’s gates. He thanked us and wandered off in the wrong direction. I watched as he shuffled around aimlessly for a few minutes, then sat down and put his head in his hands.

It was clear to me that the man was in no shape to be going anywhere. When he got up and meandered off again I grabbed the first TSA agent I could find, explained what was going on and described the guy. The agent asked me to call security and took off to find the passenger. I called the Comm Center and explained the situation. They told me to stay put and that they were sending police. When the officers arrived I went over what had happened and they also took off to locate the passenger. Finally I was able to go home – more than half an hour later than intended.

On the way home I wondered again how that guy managed to get down to the area outside the accounting department more than an hour after the access points were automatically locked. I got my answer the next day. The police went through the video from that evening. Turns out a co-worker who left 10 minutes before me took the elevator up. When you do that after hours you are supposed to exit the elevator then wait for the doors to close before leaving the area. That way no one without credentials can access the elevator. But my coworker forgot and walked away without waiting. The passenger was able to stumble into the elevator before the doors shut.

The next time you head to an airport, check out a map ahead of time. Know the traffic patterns. Pay attention to the road signs. Better yet – take a taxi or an uber. Once there remember – there are cameras everywhere inside and out. If you decide to misbehave the police will see. Please, please, please don’t leave your bags lying around. And if an airport employee shuts an elevator door in your face, don’t take it personally.